One Of The Most Difficult Posts I've Ever Written

After 3 days of dealing with this it isn't any easier to blog about. But I need to blog. I need to get it out. Not really to vent, but to sort through it all. And I don't really know how to start. So here it is...

Wednesday night, when we were getting ready for bed, our little Sophie (the chihuahua) was in the dining room with Barclay (the border collie)... we're not 100% clear on what happened, but from past experience we think Sophie was eating something and Barclay got too close. Sophie got irritated and snapped at him and from there it blew up into a snarling mess. It lasted all of a few seconds. But Sophie ended up losing her right eye. I know it wasn't intended... Barclay was defending himself.

Yes... Sophie is small and Barclay is big, but she is aggressive. She has chased bigger dogs and had them cornered, cowering from her as if she was some huge beast. Barclay, who is usually so careful with his smaller but older "sister", could only be pushed so far.

After an hour long drive to the closest vet with late night emergency care, the emergency vet experience was a nightmare... jerky rude guy at the front desk, one vet (who seemed to think being funny was the appropriate behavior in this situation) in the office, one assistant who never actually showed his/her face, waiting for an hour under bright, florescent lighting in a barren waiting room, my sweet little companion's eye hanging from the socket. By the time they got around to her she had been like that for two hours. Even if they could have saved the eye , I'm pretty sure it would have been too late by the time they got to her.

The surgery took about an hour, but we got to bring her home as soon as she woke up. I would have spent the night if they hadn't let me bring her home. I couldn't have left her there. She was hurt and scared and there was no way I could have left her alone in a strange place with these people. They didn't seem to care enough... one complaining about being there at all and the other putting on a show off being startled by the sight of her, as if it was funny.

She's doing better... showing signs of her old self. She's a little more tense around Barclay, but they're doing ok considering the situation.

Emily has a hard time seeing her beloved Barclay in the same light, which is really hard for both of them and for me. But it will get better eventually. It has to.

The rest of us are just dealing with it as best we can. We love both dogs and the dogs love each other. What else can we do, but move past it?